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i don't want to write what happened the other day in GZ.
Shifting a mood to either far too happy or too sad could be a indicator of Bipolar Disorder. The sad news is I had at least two B.D. symptoms, 1 depress 1 mania. Had "I wish i were never born" thought, had 'Chatty Kathy'.
My dad has more than 2 of disorder symptoms (I had long-time feeling he has long been psychological illness, finally the reading of B.D. has given me clue of what type of illness it is), and according to a research of B.D. Children is often have B.D. parents. Having a B.D. dad (He could also affected by my grand parents which had hard life) is hard for every other family member. But what so fortunate to me is my mum barely have any single of those B.D. symptoms, her mood is stable. She also told me dad have difficult personality.
But I have instinct feel that this would be definite denial communication from dad. Just like I wrote my first line. The shame defect, the losing face event, everything that he and I had connection that knew it but will not talk about it. Depression symptom, course by stress or hurt or abused or negligent, is very difficult to overcome. But people had terrible pass would not hard to find someone related to. Let the time heal the wound is what a man sometime do rather than talking it to someone.
The biggest danger is that B.P. cause me stop function in social. and poor judgment.
My disorder all due to external factor as far as I remember. I believe this is rarely because of passing from last generations (DNA). Knowing B.D. is no way to get away from it and come along with other psychological illness. I have long-term plan for dealing with my B.D. Read further about the topic, live a heathy lifestyle and the most important, keep myself away from source, and do everything I can to stop weighting my dad's B.D. level although he is a big source of my disorder.
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